So here we are...

Because I'm feeling particularly lousy, this post is going to be a huge whine about work. Don't bother reading it because it obviously is boring. Haha.

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This semester has been a disaster. I don't dare pause and think about the kind of results that I will get for each module, like I always have done in previous semester, or my CAP at the end of it. I probably will never climb back to second upper, let alone first class honours, which also spells the end of quite a few things.

What is so greatly frustrating is that its not as though I slacked through this semester completely. In fact, I'd say that the amount of effort I put in mugging for the various lsm tests is much greater than that last semester, and its more consistent too. But I have been faltering during the CAs, and hence the resultant grades which suggest that I'm only average, or even below average, in this cohort. This is undoubtedly very frustrating, and I'm starting to conclude that I'm really quite stupid after all if everyone else is getting As and Bs and I'm getting Cs and Ds even after this amount of work. And it seems that no matter what I do, I will never ever get full marks for any MCQ test. Somewhere along the way, self doubt will creep in, and I will change some correct answer to a wrong alternative, or get completely tricked by the question. Even for open book exams. I won't name the modules, but you get the idea.

The bell curve means that it is not enough to be good in something... it means that you must be better that others.